Rhoda Fichtner Bernstein

Rhoda Fichtner Bernstein, longtime educator, lifelong iconoclast, and matriarch to three generations of devoted family, died June 26 after a brief illness, just weeks after celebrating her 95th birthday. She lived independently until her last days and passed peacefully, surrounded by loved ones, at the Duke Health Hock Family Pavilion in Durham, N.C., the community in which she has made her home since 1987.

Rhoda was born June 6, 1931, to Max Fichtner and Blume Salzburg Fichtner the same year the Empire State Building rose over Manhattan. The fourth of six children and the second daughter, Rhoda lived in Mount Vernon, N.Y., with her family and attended F.W. Pennington School. She loved sports and told stories of roller skating and bike riding around her neighborhood. She was 12 when her beloved father died in a work accident at his stationery store in the city. The family moved to the Bronx, a dramatic change in circumstances that affected her deeply but from which she forged her strong sense of self. After high school, she followed her brother Herman to Syracuse University, where she enjoyed her time, joined a sorority, and studied art. She completed two years before moving with her mother and two younger siblings to Scranton, Pa.

In Scranton, Rhoda was the gorgeous new girl in town and had many suitors. She married Abram “Buddy” Bernstein in 1953 and eventually they moved with their growing family to Waverly, Pa. She had a beautiful voice and a talent for acting that led her to the local stage, where she was cast in the lead role in “Anastasia” and memorably played Sarah in “Guys and Dolls.” 

When her youngest child entered school, Rhoda completed her postsecondary education, earning an associate’s degree at Keystone Junior College and a bachelor of arts from Marywood University. She began teaching in the Scranton Public Schools in 1972. Teaching in the primary and middle school grades became her passion. Known always as “Mrs. B,” she maintained high standards for all of her students regardless of background or ability. They loved her for challenging them to be the best they could be. Her gift for storytelling made her classrooms places of wonder, imagination, and creativity, and the field trips she led from urban Scranton out to the Bernsteins’ rural home and nearby Lackawanna State Park were formative, memorable experiences for her students. 

Rhoda loved running barefoot around the family’s 12-acre property and was a fiercely competitive badminton player, which was played all summer long in the court set up in the yard.

She retired from the Scranton school system in 1987, two years after the death of her husband, and moved to Durham, N.C., where two of her three daughters lived with their growing families. She continued to work, as a substitute teacher and in federal food programs for children, after-school programs at the E.K. Powe school, and retail, where she mastered the complicated digital systems, though in her everyday life she steadfastly refused to join the march of technological change. She bought her dream house in the country in Bahama, N.C., which she filled with old and new pieces and lasting memories, and then moved to an apartment in downtown Durham, where she relished waking every morning to high ceilings, plenty of natural light, and the comfort of her favorite chair. 

She treasured books, especially biographies, and loved movies from an early age, when she felt transported by the stories she watched unfold on the silver screen. She kept her mind sharp — and took great comfort — from the daily New York Times crossword, which she did in pen, and she made Scrabble the family game, delighting in the way the tiles spread across the board as if they had a life of their own.

Rhoda was above all else a nonconformist. Illogical or foolish rules were to be bent or broken, and she bent and broke more than her share. Her world was one of clarity: She knew herself and took strong stands. She didn’t suffer fools but never met a person she couldn’t talk to. Rarely seen without her signature Revlon orange/red lipstick, she was an icon of style who still turned heads up until the very last.

Rhoda is survived by her four children, Laura June Fjeld (Jon), Nancy Kay Bernstein (Terry Seelinger), Margot Claire Bernstein, Matthew John Bernstein (Jayne Ogata); her six grandchildren, Jason Luger (Dan Peck), Emily Luger Siegel (Edward), Ilana Seelinger Hartikainen (Jussi), Ari Seelinger (Caryssa Peretz), Nathaniel Luger (Nicole Davis), Jake Ogata Bernstein; two step-grandchildren, Andrea Fjeld (Ash Oat), Evan Fjeld (Oonagh); her four great-grandchildren, Henry Charles Siegel, Elizabeth June Siegel, Kaspian Kullervo Hartikainen, Brooks Andrew Seelinger. She is also survived by her younger sister, Brenda Fichtner Dresslar, many nieces and nephews, and their children; and by dear longtime friends Lynn Janoff, a cherished comrade since childhood, and Michele McDade, who shared her love of teaching; and newer dear ones — too many to name — with whom she made an instant connection. She will continue to inspire us all.

The funeral will be held on Tuesday, June 30th at 11:00 AM in the Carlucci-Golden-DeSantis Funeral Home, Inc. 318 East Drinker St., Dunmore with services by Rabbi Daniel Swartz. The family will receive friends at 10:00 AM until the time of the service.

Interment will follow at the Dalton Jewish Cemetery, 105 Shoemaker Rd., Dalton.  A second event will be scheduled in North Carolina at a later date.

Contributions may be made in Rhoda’s name to Doctors Without Borders.